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DEAR MISS MANNERS: Somewhere forth the line, I turned into led to collect that a handwritten agenda changed into bigger to a broadcast schedule for cogent sympathy.

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I’ve been sending handwritten addendum on notecards I accomplish on my computer — the superior has a account of a butterfly aerial in opposition to a ablaze mild, and the aback has our names and acquaintance data. I go away the primary bare to cope with on. I acquire these amount me real little to make.

My ancestor died a brace of months in the past, and I accustomed abounding admirable save-bought greeting cards — high-quality with handwritten addendum of assorted lengths about my dad, in accession to the signature under the published sentiment.

Am I actuality bargain and gauche to use my bootleg playing cards? Should I be affairs big-price tag playing cards to boost up accord notes?

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GENTLE READER: The extraordinary perspective that it’s miles in some way essential that condolences be beatific on a bartering agenda is enormous, Miss Amenities has acclaimed with amazement.

Don’t our bodies acquire that the important thing issue of cogent condolences to the bereaved, and tributes to the deceased, is the allotment that the senders cope with themselves? That, and not your fine from a time table rack, is what makes the time table advisedly personal. Whether you deal with it on obvious cardboard or designs you acquisition at the laptop, or along preprinted sentiments, is beside the point.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son, now 26 years old, has been finished his absolute activity approximately manners.

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He has had some adversity accepting the account abaft a few conventions, but I begin him advanced in a altercation approximately the in a position manner to administer silverware.

He accepts quality of the requests I collect fabricated approximately his bistro habits, however we boxlike off getting ready to captivation a attitude in the correct hand. I start myself aghast again he acicular out that we Americans gather Europeans captivation their forks inside the larboard hand.

His factor is, why should Americans be affronted through added Americans application this bistro style, again they’re not affronted with the aid of Europeans engaging in so? We accumulate agreed to just accept by your opinion.

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GENTLE READER: Try cultural appropriation: He’s an American apery European manners.

What makes this worse than actualization to patronize introduced cultures (a allegation that offers Miss Amenities hassle, as she about sees it as flattering) is that it smacks of a altered array of snobbery: that if Europeans do it, it fee be fancier.

But it moreover comes of an actual ataxia — that it charge be an earlier lifestyle, and accurately well-known by using traditionalists. In fact, what’s now the American way of bistro become the antique European one that colonists delivered right here. It was the Europeans who stricken by way of dispatch up, that’s what absolutely traditionalists might reject.

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Please boost up your questions to Miss Amenities at her website, www.Missmanners.Com; to her electronic mail, [email protected]; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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